Today is my birthday and I really didn't notice it all day. I've been so busy trying to catch my flights up and down the central part of the United States, that it just didn't really register. If it hadn't been for Facebook sending me so many wishes, the day would just have easily slipped away as just another hump day.
Perhaps it's the age I'm turning - 50 is on the horizon, I'm in the last year of yet another decade - or maybe I purposely planned this work trip to coincide with this day so I could just let it fade away.
Last night, as I wandered Beale Street, yes, I was walking in Memphis - I stopped into a quiet little place for a salad and dessert, and it was here, amidst the secluded cafe, away from blues blaring on the streets and the Elvis impersonators singing in tiny clubs that I thought to myself, "It's my birthday, tomorrow."
It shook me a bit and I wondered at what point did I reach this chapter in my life? Am I where I want to be? Do I have everything I want? Are those even questions that can be answered? There was one couple in the cafe with me and when they left, there I sat, loving the solitude. I didn't want to wander into one of the many bars on Beale. I contemplated Coyote Ugly - didn't see anyone dancing on the bar and the many signs in the windows of the BBQ joints and establishments that declared 'no firearms allowed' and 'we love the Memphis police' made me just a tad uneasy. I was so content in this quaint little establishment.
From that first birthday I spent in San Francisco to this one spent during dead Elvis week (google it, you'll be amazed), I've come a long way. If the managers and supervisors who held me down because of their opinion of me could see me now, ("You're right," one said, "I don't like you.") I wonder what they'd think. Then, I thought as I wandered back to my hotel, their opinion of me would not matter anymore. When I was younger, it was everything. Today, it is just their view. Their image of me is none of my concern. I'm certain that outlook comes with age. Just as it has happened before, where ever this box I've checked leads me will be because of the choices and steps I take.
As I finished my meal, I laughed with the owner and chef. She invited me back for open mic night and when I told her it was my last night in Memphis, she told me as I left, "You have a blessed evening, honey."
And, then I thought, I'll go one further - it's my birthday, I'll have a blessed year.
