Once Upon A Time In Person

In a crowded bar - packed with eye candy, I watched one boy after another immersed in their phones - logged into cruising apps looking to see who was less then 250 feet from them. Ironic, I thought, as they stood among some of the hottest scenery around. I was tempted to go up and crack a joke, but most were so intent on flipping through the photos, I thought it best to just have another drink and call it a night.

Once upon a time, when there was no internet, I was the master of meeting men. On the street, at a party, in a bar - my skills were second to none. Making eye contact, flashing a smile to let the other person know that I was not as bitchy as I might look standing by myself- there was no situation I couldn't handle. Some of pick up lines fell flat, some were embarrassingly bad, but sometimes, they'd hit the mark and my potential suitor and I would carry on an actual conversation.

I can remember when I poured over the ads in the Boston Phoenix that required an answer by letter (yes, snail mail). I'd wait for the response addressed to a secret post office box I'd rented, and my heart pounding nervousness as I read each one. And when the 300 pound author of one of those letters showed up to meet me, there was no "block" feature. I had to simply get through the date and politely wish him well. Overall, though, nothing matched the skill I had at introducing myself and feeling that instant spark. Whether, it was the other person's eyes, their smile, the way he laughed - the list of what attracted me is something that isn't visible through the smart phone screen.

Now, as I approach another birthday, inching ever so closely to the half-century of my life, I find myself missing those days more and more. Has the opportunity to meet someone in person become extinct now that the world has mobile apps and dating web sites? When I try to reach back into my bag of meeting tricks, I'm reminded of a lyric from one of my favorite Streisand songs, "Alone again I search a street of unrelated faces - Where strangers look the other way -They're so afraid my smile might say "come in."

In no way do I think the "old" days were better. For sure, the internet has been life changing to those in the middle of nowhere and has for sure helped bring a community to those who've felt isolated and alone. I'd like to think I'm still the master of the in-person pick up. My skills are just rusty because the objects of my affection are just too buried in their mobile phones to notice what's standing right in front of them. Then again, maybe I'm a relic from the days before the Internet - like checking a paper map for directions or the phone booth. Although my pick up lines have vastly improved, my way of wanting to meet people could be thought of as antiquated and out-of-touch. But, I say, some people pay top dollar to own outdated treasures. What was old is always new again and since I'm getting older, it's just a matter of time before the same can be said for me.