Falling into Fall

Fall has always been my favorite time of the year, and maybe because it is my ninth year in Los Angeles and my 21^st in California, but I've been missing some parts of where I grew up more and more. Recently, after a debacle in my quest for a new position based on the East Coast, I somehow found myself wanting to just breathe in the smell of autumn where the season ought to be experienced. A cheap airfare and a guaranteed upgrade made the decision even more right, and tomorrow I leave for a nice nine-day vacation to Boston and Provincetown.

The secluded city at the end of Cape Cod has always been a favorite place of mine. When I moved back to Massachusetts for a little over two years, I used to drive to the artist colony almost once a month. And the off-season was always my favorite time, especially October and Halloween. With crisp days and cool nights, just enough for a jacket but not yet cold enough for earmuffs and scarves, the weather somehow put a whole different spin on a city that swells to an unimaginable population during the summer. It was, in a way, what Palm Springs is to me here – an escape just a quick drive away that can make you feel like you are a world detached from everyone and everything.

When I was little, my brother and I would go trick or treating in our home neighborhood, and one year, for some strange reason, we got a goldfish from a tiny pet store instead of candy. Needless to say, the fish lasted in life as long as it took us to eat all our candy. I can think of a hundred different memories, Halloweens as vampires, monsters, superheroes, and oh, yes, that one year in drag. That blue and pink dress couldn't hold a candle to half of the outfits I would, years later, have made for my foray onto the lip-syncing stages of San Francisco, but it’s always nice to remember your beginnings.

And my beginnings are just what this trip is all about. I’ll visit some old friends and drink in what will always be there for me whenever things don’t quite turn out the way I’m planning for in this city where fall and summer can never be differentiated and it seems where water will never again fall from the sky. The colors of the leaves will remind me that change always comes and when winter comes to blanket the scenery, right under the surface is a whole new life ready to begin.

As I continue in this year before my milestone birthday, I have lots of thoughts swirling in my head. Plans that I make and then unmake, pictures of where I think I ought to be, coupled with thoughts of how realistic it will be to make my visuals a reality. But one thing is certain; I can always go back to where it all began for me. There, I can take a step back, remember who I was and maybe, for just a brief moment, experience an afternoon of walking in the rain.