If there were any doubt that the world had changed again, all doubt was erased last week when I walked into my favorite bar in Manhattan. Instead of the normal doorman who, for the past year, has greeted me a with a gruff hello, two very burly and ominous security guards proceeded to pat me down for weapons. And with that, my normal Saturday night out was far from normal.
I somewhere naively didn’t think the world could change again after 9/11. Perhaps that was just pure foolishness or maybe I still like to believe I’m that naïve young man who walked into his first gay bar and immediately felt as if he had finally found where he belonged. No matter how trepidatious I felt, I was comfortable that here, no one would call me names, shove me from behind as I walked with my books in the stairwell, or make me feel less than what I was. And, most of all, I never dreamed that coming into a bar – that someone could potentially kill me.
Is there more to said that hasn't already been commented on surrounding the horrible events in Orlando? Which is ironically, supposed to be home to the happiest place on earth. I think there's always more to be said, always more to be written and always more places to add your voice.
There have been many personal events that have shaped the person I am today – among them, the passing of my grandmother when I was just 8 years old, going to college instead of traveling around Europe, and moving to San Francisco when I was 24. But those events were in my world, no one across the globe knew my grandmother, sense my disappointment when I had to give up the notion of walking through Paris with just the clothes on my back, and they didn’t feel my excitement and nervousness as I boarded that flight across the country.
Of course, the days of my growing up can never come back – but their memories burn bright more times than I’d like to admit. And now, this world where differences are now the basis for breeding hate – where making America great again means crucifying those who don’t believe in your views is like watching a bad television show that needs to get yanked off the air.
Last week, I was in a place where I have always felt comfortable. An atmosphere that welcomed me since I was in my 20s, and I looked around, subconsciously perhaps, sizing up, the people and thinking, where could I hide if someone took out a gun and started shooting? I hated that I had those thoughts. This bar should be where I just enjoy being me. Where someone who feels out of place could walk through the doors and never once for a second – lose one’s life.
I didn’t know anyone in the Pulse nightclub, but I know their stories and I know what it means to walk through the doors of a place that offer acceptance. And I can imagine, all too much, how it could all be taken away in an instant. This is not the America we should be living in and not the world that we need to leave to future generations. For years, the divas have echoed on the dance floor, “enough is enough, no more tears” and that line has morphed into more than just the lyrics of a disco song.
As I started writing this, I was on my way to Las Vegas, and after a week in that sin city, looking at every single DIVERSE person, how can one possibly want a wall to shut people out.
And if the world events of this weekend have taught us another lesson, it's that is every single person’s vote counts, every voice should be raised to be heard. Consequences should be front and center, rational thoughts should drown out the obscene rhetoric. Above all, remember that if you push someone down the stairs or shove them to the ground because you don’t like how they make you feel - they may get injured - it may take them some time to compose themselves - but when they do, they are stronger than ever.
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